Valentine

Happy Valentines Day all!!

My daughter came home unexpectedly from school yesterday, and we were just talking. Somehow the subject of Valentines Day came up. She could not believe I never had a date on Valentines Day. It’s true. Whoever I may have been seeing would break up before Valentines Day. I was a receptionist for a large company when I was very young. I received flowers for all the other ladies, young and old and of course had to deliver them to their desks. I did not envy them for receiving flowers, I was glad that they did. I just wished that someone loved me like that.  My dad always bought my mom a huge box of candy and a dozen roses for Valentines Day without fail for over twenty years. Sometimes he would also buy a piece of jewelry. He also bought flowers for me, the gentlemanly big bad Marine that he was, so sweet……When I got married, I told my husband I hated Valentines Day so kind of set a precedent. We did not have the money for expensive flowers, I did not want candy, and thought that the jacked up prices were awful, but deep down, did I kind of wish he bought me something? Yes. After almost 25 years I can admit that. So why didn’t I tell him? No idea. I wanted to be perceived, and sometimes felt, that “I did not need all that stuff”….therefore, I wore my hatred of this holiday like a badge. Several times he would write me love letters, all of which I still have. They were definitely better.

Last night my husband comes home from work and he knows that I am having a pretty hard time, trying to reconcile that our son is sick, and also going through The Menopause.

He knows that I spend some days crying all day, falling asleep, getting up the next day, eyes all puffy, not going anywhere….crying some more.  It’s probably The Menopause. He just knows that for now he has to be the strong one because I am not capable of taking care of much, like getting Valentine cards for the kids still living at home. He knew one of our daughters came up for a visit. He walks in with a fuzzy box of chocolates and a card for her, cards and candy for the boys, a card for me and some candy that he knows I do not allow myself to eat very often.  He wrote a really nice little note which was not sappy, but mature, and perfect for what I am going through. So, I have to say, he knew just when to bend my ‘I hate Valentine’s day rule’.  I was so grateful that he bought for the kids, because I could not do it this year.  He actually went into a store, picked out things for them, after working 14 hours.  What can I say bad about Valentines Day now?

Not a thing.

 

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