I spoke with a young woman today that has a heart of gold. Her spirit is beautiful. She is overweight and awkward on the outside. She was molested by a family member as a teen. She carried that burden alone for many years. Now she is a young woman with very low self esteem. She met a man who showed an interest in her. He flattered her, befriended her, told her she was beautiful. Then he told her he was married, had two children, with another on the way. She slept with him. She told me that he was ‘her first intimate relationship’ as far as she was concerned because she wanted to be with him. He never told her he loved her. He would never sacrifice his family for her. He never took her out on a date. He always used her as a sex object, and yet she is infatuated with him, and even thinks she loves him. She tries to convince herself that he cares for her. She told me many things he has said to her since his baby girl was born a few months ago. He told her she should find a boyfriend. He has made himself perfectly clear: he has no interest whatsoever in a relationship with her. He is married. He has a family. He used her for sex. It was as simple as that. She refuses to believe it. She calls him. He has blocked her calls. She texts him. He does not text her back and blocked her number. She has messaged him via social media. He has blocked her. She still refuses to believe that he does not care for her. After speaking with her and listening to her story for several hours, adding gentle advice now and then, holding her while she cried….I truly felt I was maybe getting through to her. I told her that she must be patient, she must wait for the right man to come into her life. I suggested different things for her to do, to try, to distract her thoughts from this awful man. I felt relieved when she started to show signs of understanding. She seemed to hold her head higher, to say positive things about herself as well as her future. She turned to leave and told me that today when she saw him at work, she was going to ask him for a kiss. I asked her why in the world she would do that? She said she had never kissed anyone on Valentines Day. I told her that any guy walking in the door would do her that honor. She said that it was the last thing she wanted from him.
I know that she will continue to stalk this man.
They work together so she will probably lose her job, as well as a few more pieces of herself. I do not understand why she is acting as if he were the only man who would want her. I do not understand why she can not see how precious she is.
I do know that this young woman is broken. Broken because of a monster who sexually abused her as a teen for years. Her scars are so deep that she needs professional help in order to be well.
I only pray that this idiot man who used her so callously at her job will get her fired. She does not have the strength or wherewithal to put him behind her by herself. If she isn’t careful, she will be in trouble with the law because she is acting so irrationally and crazy. I can not give up on her. I will continue to talk to her, pray for her, text her, encourage her, and perhaps give her a gentle push by calling anonymously and getting either her or the idiot man she works for fired.
I do not want to be harsh. I do not want to be a busy body. I can not stand by and allow this wonderfully kind young woman continue to be abused. This time she is being abused by her own foolish self.