MS is one of my arch enemies. I have many. MS took my mother. I never had the disease, but one of my cousins does. A few years ago, I was very stressed out, and was feeling dizzy. The floor was coming at me, does that make any sense? It was like the floor was coming up at me. I felt like I was a crazy person. I was also very nervous. I called my doc and he told me to come in. He ran me through the usual paces, simple tests that docs do to see if anything is ‘off’. I insisted on an MRI and I was fine. No MS.
I grew up with my MOTHER having it, and am therefore hyper vigilant about my health. It’s a nice way of saying that I am a hypochondriac. I am better than I used to be, but I am still a hypochondriac. I have spent years in therapy, and have finally come to the conclusion that I am broken. As old as I am, I really don’t think I will be fixed by a magic drug. However, MS affects everyone in a family. I am not saying I developed anxiety because of it, but it is one of the reasons that I developed REAL anxiety. Anxiety and all of it’s craziness will be for another post. If I have an ear infection, I know I must have MS. If I fall over the dog, I must have MS. If I get dizzy or feel woozy, I must have MS. You get the picture. I am also constantly watching my children.
A million years ago when my MOTHER was diagnosed, MS was absolutely NOT hereditary. That’s what we were told. If I would have known different, I would never have had six children. I just would not have wanted the slightest chance that something could be passed down to them. However, all of them seem to be clear of MS, but I still am hyper vigilant about my own health as well as theirs.
I hope that I live long enough to hear they have found a cure. I am excited when I hear of new drugs that can help those that have it. I love seeing people that do have it live normal and productive lives. I love hearing of medical breakthroughs. One of my children is wired differently that the others. I thought she would be a great researcher and of course, go to MIT and find a cure….These are the crazy things I think. I detest all autoimmune diseases, but have a special hatred for MS.