You will never read this
it’s not one of those games you play
I hope one day you will know — that for you I prayed and prayed
One was lost before you, so you were a greater Joy
when the doctors told me that I had delivered a baby boy
One can be at home, and yet not really be there
Such is the case with us, and I know it is not fair
I know that you are hurt, and sometimes your head is spinning
How I wish my darling boy to go back to the beginning
Somehow Life got in the way and I still can not fathom why
that I allowed Life to take my attention from my little guy
I know it is hard to be a teen and yet you take it all in stride
laughing and joking and being so difficult burying pain you can’t hide
Everyday I try to do better, I struggle with the worst-
and I will continue to try even harder to start putting you first
You are my darling, my beloved, funny, delight of my heart-
how can I show you – make you believe me–life drives us apart?
You were wanted, you were prayed for,oh how I love you so….
Don’t shut me out, don’t close your door, please my love, don’t go…
Thank you for waiting, please don’t be hurt, Life is a Messy State —
You are wanted, you are adored, oh how I love you
I hope it’s not too late….