I Never Meant to…

You will never read this

it’s not one of those games you play

I hope one day you will know — that for you I prayed and prayed

One was lost before you, so you were a greater Joy

when the doctors told me that I had delivered a baby boy

One can be at home, and yet not really be there

Such is the case with us, and I know it is not fair

I know that you are hurt, and sometimes your head is spinning

How I wish my darling boy to go back to the beginning

Somehow Life got in the way and I still can not fathom why

that I allowed Life to  take my attention from my little guy

I know it is hard to be a teen and yet you take it all in stride

laughing and joking and being so difficult burying pain you can’t hide

Everyday I try to do better, I struggle with the worst-

and I will continue to try even harder to start putting you first

You are my darling, my beloved, funny, delight of my heart-

how can I show you – make you believe me–life  drives us apart?

You were wanted, you were prayed for,oh  how I love you so….

Don’t shut me out, don’t close your door, please my love, don’t go…

Thank you for waiting, please don’t be hurt, Life is a Messy State —

You are wanted, you are adored, oh  how I love you

I hope it’s not too late….

truly….

for #6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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