You are sleeping…

You are sleeping

I am writing

you are tired

I am wondering


A teen is tired

school and work

long hours and papers

but you are more tired

than usual

or are you


or are you okay

this is where

I get it out in writing

I can’t say it to you

I can not ask you

you get angry

and I cry

and you get angry

and my friends tell me

to stop it because

I can’t do anything

about it

just live my life

they say everyone in the

family knows how I feel

and I am making it all


yes they all say things friends and family

they say

I can’t accept it

I can’t cope

I hope

maybe I will


they even say I act like it’s about

me but

they don’t

know I am grieving

and then they say

why do you


this way

he is  alive

like I don’t know that

who can understand a mother’s


not one single person

who has said

these ridiculous

things to me

thank God for

my blog

where I can write

my thoughts

and I am safe



for loving

my son so much

and hurting so much




and who can dare give me advice

when they are living their

life and they can forget a time

while living and loving and going to work and school

and for some reason

I can’t forget for a second

how dare anyone


my tears






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