Anxiety and me….

This blog will Not be about Anxiety, although I don’t have a Central Theme as of yet. I don’t like to give anxiety any credit or name whatsoever, but sometimes it may be helpful to others to know that they are not alone.

For example, it is time for the yearly mammogram. I usually have to wait a few days for the results and some times have been called in for more films which sends me into a tail spin. I go the day after tomorrow to a place where the radiologist reads the films right there.

A normal person would probably not be worried at all…no history, no problems in the past, get in read right there, no big deal.

Anxiety is stirring my tummy with a big ole spoon, I am still a basket case.  This is what Anxiety is like.  I do not want to eat or do anything. I don’t want to engage with another person in any way. I don’t want to do anything. I am so nervous.  Medical tests should not be like this. Or maybe people should not be like this. I don’t know. I will just be glad when it’s all over.

The trouble is, I am like this with Everything……The doc in March wanted to put me on more meds and I said NO. They make me feel like a zombie, I am tired, have No Emotions, No Feelings, and I gain weight on top of that….

So I suffer….

I have decided to cut back on coffee and see if that makes a difference with anxiety.  Someone did some research on coffee and said it was Terrible for those with anxiety disorders. I had heard that as well but I have been drinking pot loads since I was 16, so figured I was immune to it’s affects…Wouldn’t it be wonderful to find out it’s just all the caffeine I have drank since I was 16 and not ‘a disorder’ as I have been told by one doc after another?  I am trying it. Drinking more water is better anyway although I don’t like it very much.

Anxiety is my companion today as we travel around and do errands in the rain….

Suffering…

 

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