My eating plan is in my mind. I would like to say that I have lost ten pounds.
The truth is, I have spent a week getting all of my materials in. Cookbooks, work out tapes, and containers. I spent the past few days watching some of the videos, watching mind you, not doing them….then tried to work out a diet….of course I am still not eating. I usually forget to drink my boost until I am half way down the road. I decided I should put a reminder note someplace, perhaps by my coffee maker. I went into a tail spin yesterday when I watched the videos, not making excuses, just knowing there is no way I can do them right now. I can modify modify modify super modify but I can’t do them like a ‘normal’ person could. I am just too heavy. Then I was reading through the booklets and planning in my mind what I can and can not eat and then I freaked out because although I can have coffee, I can’t have it with milk, even skim. That’s not going to work. Then I read even more and saw that someone that needs to lose 50 plus pounds should subtract a carb….perhaps add a protein…sheesh…I got so confused!!
Then I started rattling all this around in my head and thought I shouldn’t start yet. I am not ready. Then I argued with myself and thought I am just making excuses. Then I got depressed. The cycle begins….
Finally I decided that I would start eating three meals a day even it HURTS which it does. This sounds crazy, right? Most people WANT to eat. I don’t. So today I drank my boost, ate a weight watchers for lunch and will have some kind of small dinner.
I have dropped my coffee from 11 cups per day down to three or four. That’s good. I have been drinking more water, but have not yet hit my goal of eight glasses per day. Sheesh that’s so much water! Since I can’t drink anything else, perhaps it’s not so bad.
Instead of discounting the work out tapes completely, I have decided that I will just do what I can do. I will be doing much modifying because some of the moves are too much and it’s really FAST. Even when I was in my twenties I remember Jazzercise for the first week was my arch enemy. I hated it and then I loved it.
Walking: I am going to have drive a few miles into town and walk up and down the street, feeling like an idiot. The reason for this is that the country road I live on is so scary. The curves wind around and the cars come so fast and I am afraid.Then my anxiety kicks in.
I don’t want to join a gym until I am exercising for at least a month on my own. Then a treadmill with Air Conditioning will be nice. I will eventually turn to the 21 day fix meal plan because I like the idea so much. But for now, I am not ready. I have joined gyms before and never go. It’s so dumb. So I will wait before I do that. I have just wasted money in the past and I don’t have any extra to waste.
The last problem I have, and it’s a big one: I have to quit smoking. Smoking is so gross and disgusting, not to mention expensive. I have been smoking for a million years but it’s time to quit. I will never get through the work outs if I don’t. I am just going to quit. Let’s see how that goes.
I will be grouchy for a while, but (ssshhh!!) I will just blame it on menopause. So the next month is going to be tough. Eating three times a day, quitting smoking, and exercising each day. Oh boy……