Anxiety and me…

A few nights ago I went with my daughter to see her wedding reception venue and we had dinner. It was fun and the food was amazing. While we were looking at everything and chatting, I felt a little twinge in my lower parts on the right side, but ignored it. Saturday I was sick all day with tummy rolling, feeling Sick. Since then, that little twinge has turned into full blown Pain. It is sometimes intermittent, sometimes it is Sharp and sometimes it Stops me in my Tracks. Going about my chores today, I continued to do what I had to do and still the pain persists. Of course I got on my Friend Google and discovered a few things about the woman’s body as well as something New. I have written several posts about The Menopause, but apparently, since I have ‘been in it’ for 2 years, now I am considered, ‘post menopausal’… Then I discovered all the lovely icky womanly things that can happen when one is in this juncture of their lives. One of which of course is having ovarian cysts that don’t go away, all kinds of woman parts cancer stuff and of course I was metaphorically biting my nails and the Pain was Worse. I have heard such horror stories about ovarian cysts and cancer and the like..I am scared.

I called by ob/gyn and the poor man called me back. I have been a patient of his for a million years and he knows I Never Call unless there is a Problem. He said he could see me tomorrow thank goodness, because otherwise he said I would be in the emergency room worrying the crap out of everyone!  He said that ovarian cysts are very common in a ‘woman my age’ and that they are usually not the kind that younger women get and go away…doctor speak for surgery. Of course I am scared and worried, especially if I have to play, ‘the waiting game’ but am so thankful that I have a good doctor…one that calls back within the hour to boot!

He knows all about my Anxiety and probably thought I was going to faint from Fear. I was not That Bad, but did not want to be misdiagnosed, as some docs are wont to do if they are not specialists. Anxiety is trying very hard to make me miserable but my thankfulness is just Stomping it’s ugly head Down. If they have to remove an ovary, they may as well remove everything….unfortunately docs don’t see it that way. I don’t need those parts any more anyway. I am hoping that I just have some weird post menopausal pain, but if not, I am confident in knowing that I trust the doc with my life, and have in the past with all the kids I have had….

I mostly worry about these things because I do have Anxiety as my faithful Shade, but more because I have 3 daughters. Family history and all that. I have no idea what my own family history is because my bio mom passed so young….therefore I always try to be vigilant about these things for them…..

The other perk about seeing him tomorrow is that I will be out of the country side, into the ‘little city’ where his office is, so will bring my laptop. As a treat to myself for having to go see him at all, I will stop by favorite coffee shop and write!!


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