I have had quite a few heavy hits in the past few years. I have been saved and a Christian for over thirty years. I don’t walk in Victory, I don’t see myself as a Daughter of the King, My Sword of the Spirit has not been shined lately, and I have been dragging my Shield in the mud for too many years..
I was at the dentist again today, feeling Quite the Pain, tears falling down my face,and I started to pray. I could not even quote a verse of Scripture to cling to, and I felt so pathetic. I am walking in Defeat….so I began to talk to the Lord. Just like you would with a regular person. I told Him that I just could not Handle my Life. I can’t handle being Fearful all the time about Everything. I can’t handle the Empty Nest, I feel as if I have no purpose, that there is no meaning to my life…then I gave it all to Him. I can’t stand my Anxiety which sometimes incapacitates me. All of my worries, fears, cares, problems. Asked Him to please take it because the Burden is too much for me. I also began to pray for each of my children and the situations that they are in – in their lives. I asked the Lord to help me with some things that I need to do…. I began to Praise Him for all of the blessings in my life.
Once the procedures were over, I went home knowing that I did the right thing. I was so very tired, (the dentist wears me out) and knew that I had to get back into the Word everyday. I used to start my day with the Word, every day. I don’t anymore but have been reading more lately. I need to find a new Church, even though it’s hard to when you move to a new place. I just have to do it.
The strange thing about today is that I spoke with #3 today, and she was praying for me. She said, ‘Mom, you just have to pick up your mat’…and Walk….