Second grade began my love of writing. You can look back on former posts and see how it all started. Once I saw the words appear on a piece of notebook paper I was enthralled. I guess one would call it prose. At any rate, I knew at that very moment, in my little mind, that I wanted to Write when I grew up.
However, as I grew up, Life got in the way and I was unable to pursue my dream. The babies came and my entire life was consumed in a Good Way by taking care of my children. My focus shifted from writing to being the best mom I could be. I worked hard at it. I also worked hard to make money in order to support them. But I never stopped writing.
I really don’t know how many poems I have written, but I have decided to publish a book of poetry and prose as well as my book I am working on. I figure I might as well do both….I have gone years with dry spells and only written a few things. I also went through a phase of writing letters. I know that sounds weird. I just think it’s really special to open the mailbox and receive an actual letter that someone sat down and wrote to me. (I don’t receive any letters anymore) I imagine them picking out stationary, sitting at a desk, thinking of me, and writing a letter. I still write letters to friends and family. I am not sure that they are appreciated, but I love to do it.
Sometimes I wonder if there may have been a way to pursue my dream of writing for a living while raising my children. I think that thinking in that way is just an exercise in futility. When I was younger and raising my kids, I was also working and taking care of my elderly family members. I do not think I could have written a book at the same time. For a while, which happened to be a span of twenty years, Writing fell by the wayside.I would write, but not everyday. I would not change the past. Raising my children and taking care of my parents was a labor of love, and one that I would not change. In fact, if I could turn back the hands of time, I would gladly do it because I miss those days so much.
However, in trying to find my New Purpose since the kids are grown, or almost grown, Writing has been at the forefront of my mind. My ‘real job’ is very difficult and stressful since it literally puts food on the table. If I sell no jobs, we don’t pay our bills, nor eat. However, it has become ‘old hat’ and very easy for me, and I am fortunate because I really do love my job.
Working on my book has been an adventure. I didn’t realize how complicated it can be to actually write a book. I always thought that once I made a living by writing poetry or prose for a card company or something, Then I would write a book. Since I never got the chance to write for a card company and became a Contractor, ‘the book thing’ was a surprise. Not thinking of the story. Putting it all together, editing, changing, over thinking it, that kind of thing….sometimes I feel like giving up.
Blogging has helped me so much. I love to put my thoughts on cyberspace paper. I had no idea that I would really blog everyday. Surprisingly I never thought that I would love it as much as I do. I never realized how much joy I would receive by following others’ work and reading it everyday. Blogging has brought me such Happiness in a world that isn’t Happy most of the time. Not having enough money, having ailments, bizarre accidents, experiencing the Empty Nest, moving to the country, worrying about my son’s heart condition…so many things that have happened in the past nine months, and me being able to write about them has been better than any therapy I could have paid for. I am so thankful to be able to Write again…everyday….and read others’ work…everyday. Thank you so much!