Anxiety and me…

Many of my posts are about Anxiety since I Have It and it is Real. I have been in a State for over a month because I have had in the past 60 days: (not in chronological order) (ailments)

Four teeth pulled:  very traumatic for me then sick because of antibiotics……

Tick bite: must have Lyme disease (this is how Anxiety likes to poke at me, I do not thus far see any signs of Lyme disease)…..

Dog Bite: my beloved Shih Tzu bit me while grooming which resulted in an ER visit because of hand swelling and terrible pain which lead to infection which lead to more antibiotics which made me sick…I am really mad at him. He is 10 and grouchy but am so hurt that he Bit Me causing a puncture wound and another on top of my hand….

Three tooth fillings, one of which now will be an upcoming root canal…

Annual Lady Doctor Visit—had HPV when married the first time from my first Bas@@@@ husband ( over 25 years ago)…(had one surgery at 19)..who slept with everyone….then it came Back once I went into Menopause…..which leads to more Anxiety every Six Months as we are ‘watching and hoping for No Surgery’..

Mammogram – Scaaarrrrryyyy–but not too bad because I went to one of those places with same day results but still gets Anxiety in Full Steam Ahead Mode….

Bladder Infection: more antibiotics which made me sick for a week…how in the world did I get one in the first place?….

Sprained Hand Tendons: Who ever heard of such a thing?  It happened from Carrying too much while moving into The House of Bedrooms….

Eye Doctor:  Had some vision problems was Quite Sure I Had Something Terribly Wrong due to Anxiety tap dancing in my tummy…(just had to break down and get glasses for the first time in my life; always had perfect vision but astigmatisms are getting worse so had to do it in order to Stay On The Road)….

Lady Doctor: Terrible pain in ovary area, perhaps a cyst…doc did another test, no cyst just menopausal pain (goodie for me) Anxiety was delighted at That Scare…


#1 called me today and I said, “Guess where I am?” He answered, “The Emergency Room”…I said, “Nope”. He said, “The doctor…”, I replied, “Nope”. He asked, “The Pharmacy?”, I said, “Nope”. He said,”Well then you must be at the dentist”…I replied,”Nope, already been there as well as the Pharmacy”……(I was at the laundry mat)

This is just ‘the ailments’ part of life lately….

This does not include everyday Life….Selling jobs, (need money!!), #3 Moving Across The 1 week….God Please help me….(how will I handle That?)…or The Guilt: Not seeing #2 and my grandson whom I really do want to visit but she lives three hours away and Anxiety does not like me Traveling….(if I ever get off antibiotics and now painkillers)….or seeing my Granddaughter who is 14 going on 30 and I Want To See Her….Or starting my Eating Plan that I blogged about quite excitedly a few months ago (Nope haven’t started, been too sick on antibiotics (can’t they make medicine that doesn’t one puke anymore?)…..or the hubs getting poison ivy, oak, and sumac All At Once and had to go to ER because Face was swelling and getting numb going into shock…or #4 having heat exhaustion and being Severely Dehydrated and another trip to the ER because she was so sick and I could see she was going to Pass Out…(sheesh) …or #5’s upcoming ‘big’ heart doc appointment which will include MRI of heart again…or me Not Spending Any Quality Time with #6 due to all my Ailments and Life and he of course thinking I am the Lamest thing he ever saw….(probably doesn’t want to do anything with me anyway….I asked him if he would like to see a movie and he said, “No Mawm!” and then went with his older sister quite happily I may add….As you can tell Anxiety is having a freak’in Party with me this summer….

Seriously ladies, when you hit Menopause, be sure to buy yourself one or two of those large 6 pack of tissues because you may go through them each week. I go through (no kidding For Real) at least a box a day…Crying all the time, sometimes for No Reason. But it’s getting better until the next meteor hits you then the Sobs come….

Let’s talk about HPV: There are over fifty strands and they now have vaccinations for young girls and boys. However, What They Don’t Tell You is that the shots do Not Protect several of the Bad Strands (of course it’s one of the ones I have)….I do recommend getting the shot though just as an extra precaution. I had cryosurgery when young and it HURTS and causes Anxiety for those that don’t even have Anxiety. If you DO or DID have HPV, it can Come Back anytime there are hormonal changes (big swings of estrogen) such as in Pregnancy or Menopause. HPV is usually not treated these days for younger women  because it usually goes away on it’s own. Post Menopausal ladies, they ‘wait and see’ (as in my case)…sometimes it does go away on it’s own. However if does not, and it gets worse, a Cone Biopsy is the next step. That is when they cut out a piece of the cervix (gross) and put the cells under a microscope. Depending on what is found, cryosurgery of the cervix is usually done in the Doc’s office or a complete hysterectomy is needed. 

Menopause: Anxiety loves this time in a woman’s life. Anxiety can come and visit even if you don’t have a Disorder which I Do. However, Anxiety is very content to see the body go through hormonal changes and it loves to add it’s own bit of Mischief….

Menopause also causes ladies to be more susceptible to vaginitis (bacteria that causes discharge and Hurts, much like a yeast infection without the terrible itching and yucky discharge), UTI (bladder infections), (cranberry supplements are recommended and seem to help this), Phantom pains in ovaries which causes those of us with Anxiety to run to the doctor Knowing We Have an ovarian cyst….Whenever you hold your pee, or are constipated, it puts pressure on ovaries. When you had LOTS of estrogen, it did not matter, but since you are losing estrogen in Menopause, anything that ‘bumps’ or ‘upsets’ the ovaries will HURT….Hot Flashes are not the same as being Overheated All the time. Menopause causes both. Hot Flashes feel like someone is pouring boiling water on your head, then it penetrates your entire body and feels like you are Burning from the Inside Out. Not Fun. Most only last a few minutes. If you don’t know what they feel like, you will have great Anxiety and feel faint the first time you experience it. Being overheated all the time is simply feeling Hot Constantly, needing air conditioning, standing outside in Winter, putting your head in the freezer, Driving Your Family Nuts because they are Freezing and you are Hot. Anxiety loves these two symptoms of Menopause. You are sure you are dying when you get your first Hot Flash and you are sure you have a Fever with being overheated. Menopause also causes one to forget things. Then you are sure you have dementia. For Real. You may find yourself writing things down, leaving yourself little notes, telling the same stories over and over again because you may forget who you told them to in the first place and you may feel like you are crazy. It gets better. However, it is very Scary. Tear Ducts: Due to hormonal changes, you may experience ‘pink eye’ under your eyelids and develop sties. This is very itchy, painful, and mascara and eyeliner as well as eye shadow are things of the past. At least you save a little money on cosmetics! These problems are remedied by eye drops from the eye doctor. Hot compresses on eyelids are also recommended and bring comfort. Skin:  Hello Wrinkles! The money saved on cosmetics will be spent on lotions to keep skin soft. (What wrinkles outside wrinkles downstairs too if you know what I mean….yuck)

These are just some of the lovely things I have experienced in Menopause and now being Post Menopausal. (once you have gone a Full Year without a period, you are officially Post Menopausal.) ‘Menopause’ is that One Year Time without a Period. Periomenopause is like Pre-Menopause when your periods can be a little wacky…heavy, light, skipping a month or several months…cramping, feeling like dog doo…the beginning of Feeling Like You are Crazy…mood swings, perhaps a Hot Flash and overheating can occur during this time. 

Hormone Therapy:  You must do your research.  Some doctors will say it does Not Cause Breast Cancer, others will say It Does. Who to believe? I have chosen to not take Hormone Therapy. There are also creams and natural remedies that can help women during these times that do not have any adverse affects. However, caution should be used if you are on any other kind of medication, because sometimes the natural remedies and/or creams can mess up your Needed medications.

The Pill:  Some doctors have put women on the pill during this time in order for them to have periods because they can not handle Menopause nor Post Menopause. Do your research! Some have strokes due to smoking and other problems associated with the pill during this time in a woman’s life.

I have several friends who have sailed right through Menopause and had No affects at all. They did not even know that they were in Menopause or Post Menopause except for not having a period.

Others, like me, have gone through the above mentioned delightful (sarcasm) symptoms.

Do prepare for Mood Swings. One minute you are happy as a clam, laughing and enjoying yourself. A second later you are crying your eyes out and don’t even know why. (I was never a crier so it is pretty bad for me)….Another second and you are ready to Run Over Someone With Your Car…For Real. Prepare to Keep Your Mouth Shut. For some strange reason, one tends to have No Filter while going through this Hormonal Journey. “Think before you speak” Does Not Apply. Words just flow out of your mouth like a faucet that you can’t turn off. Tread softly. Be prepared. Read as much as you can about this Time. I personally would start doing research once you reach 30. Why?  Because you will be better prepared and will better understand your body and you may not suffer as I have.

Truth: Women seem to take after their mothers’ experience. Unfortunately, my bio mom passed away before she went through this Time, therefore, I had no Idea what was going on except for some slight reading I did when I was in my younger life. Unfortunately, I ‘put it away in my mind’ because I was no where Near the Age when this occurs.

Anxiety squeals with delight during Menopause as well as Post Menopause. It actually Gets Worse if you can grasp that. Anxiety is like a two year old throwing a good old fashioned tantrum, complete with screaming, crying, kicking it’s feet, having a grand ‘ole time…

I write about the Menopause for a few reasons:  Someone may be experiencing slight symptoms, (peri), Menopause, or Post Menopause and think they are crazy. Sometimes it’s good to read something from someone that is actually feeling the same way. The other reason I write about it is because I know that sometimes my daughters read my blog and they can copy it and put it away for the future. I don’t want to see any woman go into this time without Knowledge like I did. I don’t know exactly what I would have done if I knew more about it, but it’s not talked about much. I hope that if I had known a little more about This Time in my life, I could have prepared for it, or at least prepared my family.

It’s hard to have your feelings hurt Constantly. It’s hard to Take Things the Wrong Way Constantly. It’s really annoying to Cry all the Time, especially if you were always The Strong One, The Warrior Woman, The Rock of the Household….and turn into a puddle that not only Cries but really Hurts from things people do or say….Anxiety is scary on a regular day but during This Time Anxiety can be Disabling. This is why I write about The Menopause.

Families:  Try to be understanding even if you are met with resistance. No one wants to appear weak…Husbands: Be patient. Menopause is Tough and it seems like it lasts Forever. Try to be kind, even if the Woman in your life is being mean. Don’t engage in arguments, you will not win and the Woman in your life will act like she is crazy but she is not crazy–her hormones are.

Ladies:  Keep your friends around you. Try new things. Get a hobby. Go to Church. Take a class. Buy tissues. Write a blog. Paint. Color. Do whatever you want in order to bring comfort because that is what you need. But don’t take comfort in food, at This Time, Weight jumps on you if you look at a piece of chocolate. Drink water even if you don’t like it. Just drink it. Before long you will have a bottle of water in your hand all the time. Two weeks tops. Quit the soda and limit your caffeine. It just makes Anxiety worse. Water cleanses the body during This Time.

Be well….





5 thoughts on “Anxiety and me…

  1. I can’t resist advice sorry, Cranberry juice is great for you, massively reduces UTI Almost 20 in each of first 2 pregnancies to 3 total in last 2. But also helps with vaginitis & thrush, nausea + vitamins. Probiotics help massively with recovery from antibiotics. And instead of heat packs on the eyes try a chamomile tea bag straight out of the cup onto your eye, it feels great, then drink the calming tea.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. All of the ailments are scary especially when you suffer from Anxiety. Menopause isn’t scary if you are informed. I am glad you are reading even in your 20’s. Things will be even easier by the time you get to The Event with modern medicines and such! It’s a daily thing but I keep on going! Thank you!


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