Anxiety and me….

Days are going by slower. I noticed it last week. #3 is leaving on Saturday. I have heard so much about it for months now. Eagerness, happiness, joy, doubt, fear, excitement…..She has accomplished so much at a young age with a new fiance to boot! I am happy for her. I tell myself I will be fine. I will just pretend she’s still thirty minutes away. I will just pretend that I can drive to see her anytime I want. I tell myself it’s not that long until Christmas when she will be coming back for a visit….I tell myself all kinds of lies. She asked me yesterday, ‘You are coming out to visit, right Mama’? ‘Of course’, I reply. Even though I can’t seem to get my bottom to see my other daughter and grandson who live three hours away…..I think I am in shock that she will be so far away. I am making a Huge deal out of it. She is only a plane ride away, 24 hours by car. I feel Anxiety starting to kick it’s heels and jump and down, tingling my spine…..Joyous that I am miserable and feel as if I am sinking….She took her three younger siblings to the beach today for a ‘last hurrah’..she told me she has no idea when she will see her beloved East Coast beaches….I sit and remind myself that I need to pull it together!!  I have work to do!  I have to get off these antibiotics and feel better!!  I still have two teens at home! Get ahold of yourself! Nah, nothing’s working for me today….sigh.

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One thought on “Anxiety and me….

  1. I ‘enjoy’ – sarcasm – depression and finally I learned that I just have to let it be and run its course and all those things I want to do and rail against myself for being too agoraphobic to do will be done once the current bout departs. So don’t be so hard on yourself.

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