I am the Spy Director for my family. I have worked very hard to establish a network within my family and friends. In my old town, I had spies everywhere. If I wanted to know what one of my children were up to when they were teens, I had only to make a phone call. If one person did not know, they would pass along the word, and it was kind of like a phone tree. Eventually I would find out what they were up to. This network was cultivated by a group of moms…It was Fabulous…This was mainly because #1 started the Chaos of Raising a Teen….(perhaps I will write about that…what a nightmare)
Since moving to the Fixer Upper in the country, my spy network has dwindled, but I still stay in contact with my spies, making sure that they are well taken care of for their trouble. Since #1 and #2 are grown with families of their own, I rely on them to be the muscle. #1 is actually the muscle, #2 is the nurturer. All I have to do is contact them and they will find out whatever I need to know. If any action is required, #1 takes care of it. If tact and love and kindness are needed, #2 will take care of it….
#3 is moving far away so she won’t be much help, but has been quite helpful in the past, always keeping a close eye on all of her siblings and letting me know any pertinent information that I may need to know….#3 has been the first spy planted. She was cultivated at a very young age and would give me reports of all kinds: what babysitters were up to, what her siblings were doing….I could rely on her to tattle all the time. It was wonderful. She also would tattle on visits to grandparents. Subsequently, the visits stopped because her grandparents would not be very nice after a time with them all. Too many kids…they couldn’t handle it…I always knew what was going on at school as well. That was back in the days when they attended public. #3 is a natural spy.
#4 is now In Charge. She is reluctant to report at times, she feels guilty. However, she has always been the one that beats her own drum, so the others Have No Idea that she has been Promoted.
#5 and #6 are not part of the Spy Network. They are both very Tight Lipped. They Tell Nothing. I do not like that, therefore they are strictly On A Need To Know Basis. If they want something from me, I get information if needed, simple. If they don’t give it, they get nothing. Tit for Tat.
When my granddaughter turned 10, she began to be cultivated as well. She is often relied upon for a wealth of information. Who would think that she was reporting back to her grandmother? She is 14 now, but still well embedded within the network and No One Knows.
What do I do with my information? Well it depends…if one of the children, adult or teen is having problems, money may magically appear in their accounts. If they are having a sad day or a bad day, a funny text will land on their phone. If a marriage is in trouble, a phone call will gently lead to the problem, which they Really Want To Tell but Feel so Bad, and gentle advice will be given….and so forth, you get the picture.
So tonight, since #5 took it upon himself to Go Out with Some Friends that I don’t know and he always drives, but tonight Did Not, I just contacted spy #4 and she of course reported that he was out playing Pokemon on his phone with his friends….
The hubs: He is no good whatsoever in my network. He Tells Nothing. He is the Keeper of Secrets which results in Arguments. Therefore he gets the Deep Freeze when I find out he is withholding information.
Advice to all Moms: Quietly, patiently, cultivate a spy network. It will save you tons of Worry and Anxiety!!
(Can you tell I’m Italian?)