Anxiety and me….

I have what one would call, ‘white coat syndrome’….Every time I go to the doctor my blood pressure goes up. When I was thin I never had high blood pressure.  Right now, I am eating less, and I do not recommend the “diverticulitis way of losing weight” for anyone. I am scared of food. Therefore, have cut down on my intake drastically. As I recover, I am sure I will be back to my old diet, but plan to limit my intake anyway, because losing weight is always a good idea if one if overweight!

Visiting the colon surgeon was very stressful. I scared myself more than he scared me. But the details he gave me scared me and my blood pressure was pretty high. I didn’t think much of it because I was at the Doctor.

However, yesterday my blood pressure was still up. 150/101 which is very high, especially for one who takes medicines for it. I scared myself all day yesterday, feeling anxious, worrying….the usual.

The weird thing is, when  my son came home, I helped him wash his work shirts, (he doesn’t know how to use a ‘bottom of the barrel’ washing machine that we purchased–very basic)…and decided I may as well do other laundry for the others living in the house. I also did some housework….After he went to work, I checked my pressure, and it was completely normal…

I am still keeping my appointment today. This is what anxiety does. It manifests itself in my physical body.  I am a little afraid to go on a higher dose of blood pressure medicine. I did that once and felt like a wet noodle. I would rather be able to get my anxiety under control. That’s hilarious because I have had it since the age of 27 and I still can’t control it. Therapy and medicine I have also tried for years……

I can’t imagine a pill that is going to control it, nor would I try it. The ‘anxiety’ medicine I was on for years was good for  a short time. It was Not good for as long as I was on it. I walked around for years like a zombie and had No Feelings at all. I don’t want to be like that. It also causes some people to gain weight. Not the pill exactly, one just seems to crave carbs high in fat (hello that was me) I packed on forty pounds. Not Good.

Sometimes I am “in a State of Anxiety” which lasts for days. During those times, my blood pressure is elevated. Some people don’t know when their blood pressure is up, I can feel it which my doctor says is weird. Whatever. I know when it’s up. I will see what she says and go with her recommendation today…..

So tired of going to the doctor….



9 thoughts on “Anxiety and me….

  1. perhaps you could try to find something else than pills (they work only on symptoms anyhow, never “cure”). You cannot control anxiety- it would mean that you could rationally solve your emotions and this is impossible. the only way, according to me, is to go to the roots of what causes your anxiety (probably subconscious informations).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a scary feeling I remember when I was in labor with my baby my blood pressure was like that which is typical for mothers in labor but I was so scared about having a heart attack or just getting really sick during that labor because of my blood pressure I can only imagine how scary it is for you

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  3. Thank you. There is supposed to be a ‘test’ in the future which will tell if someone really has a chemical imbalance in the brain which does not allow those of us to experience the ‘endorphin’ rush that most people get from exercise, etc….which allows one Not to feel anxiety. I think the docs give out the drugs like candy. I was on them for Years. Not Good. I know I have ‘it’…I think there is good anxiety (like going on a roller coaster and it’s fun) and then ‘bad anxiety’ – like I have….it’s hard to think your Mind is Doing this to Yourself!!


  4. anxiety does go away if treated with different methods. I know how it feels to be anxious, to have panic attacks or extreme fears, I’ve been through all of that and since a few years nothing. But I let myself be treated by alternative methods (psychokinesiology, tachyon etc.) and I was so astonished by the results that I started to learn those methods and became therapist. For me there is nothing impossible.

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  5. If you don’t mind my asking, what is (psychokinesiology, tachyon)?? The best therapy for me was with a psychologist that I saw for 15 years but the money ran out and I could no longer see him. He used cognitive behavior techniques as well as relaxation techniques that helped greatly. I still use them but feel like I am doomed forever to have Anxiety as my sidekick. I like the fact that you became a therapist and have such hope!! Thank you!


  6. Pingback: Anxiety and me…. – Br Andrew's Muses

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