Sick of it all!

Have you ever been just sick of everything?  Sick of all of the stresses of life? Sick of being sick? Sick of going to doctors all the time? Sick of feeling like you are becoming unraveled? Sick of not knowing what you are doing? Sick of waiting for results of a test or for a doctor to call? That’s where I am in my life right now.

A quick trip to the doc today revealed that my blood pressure is really high. I am already on two different medications for it. The doc wanted to drop one, add another at night. I questioned whether that was wise. What happens if the one that is dropped keeps my blood pressure high during the day? What if I forget to take a night pill? It’s hard enough already to keep track of them all…

She finally decided to ‘up’ one of the blood pressure medicines I take by half.

One time I went in a few year ago because my blood pressure was skyrocketing and saw a different doctor or a nurse practitioner. She added another blood pressure pill and I felt so weak and dizzy like a wet noodle about to fall on the floor. I was afraid to drive because I thought I may pass out. I Do Not want to experience that again…

She then looked over the notes from the colon doc, as they are connected by the same hospital system and then talked to me today about my anxiety. I could not really give her a definitive answer as to what is making me anxious. I am certainly in a ‘state of anxiety’ which often happens with me. It goes on for Days. Not fun. When this occurs, my blood pressure goes up. This time, with it being pretty steady at 150/110, I felt it necessary to go in. We shall see what happens.

I keep my readings on blood pressure saved on my machine. I brought it with me. She could see that on some days I am fine. On other days, it has been sky high. Either way, stress should not be affecting my body like it is, but it is so there you go…

Orders:  Take new pill starting tomorrow and rest for the next few days. Cancel all my business appointments. Relax. Stay calm. Easier said than done. I will follow her orders but it’s really getting kind of old.

Being sick for so many months and not enjoying the summer at all which is my favorite All Time Season has not been fun at all. Laying around and doing nothing is so boring. I really hate it. I hate being sick from all the meds I was on. At least I can now write a little and read.

I am thankful that  I got an appointment today. Usually one has to wait for days or weeks to get in. I guess because I have been her patient so long, and I rattled off the numbers of my blood pressure to the receptionist who promptly told the doctor, she fit me in…I am grateful for that.

I always worry if I am given a new medicine. I am not really a medicine person. They rarely agree with me in some way or other. However, I am determined to get on my feet and be productive, therefore will do as she suggests and keep plugging on.

I wanted to post this tonight so I don’t have to deal with it tomorrow. If it’s on my mind, I will write about it. Thus, getting it out of the way tonight is my way of not having to deal with my irritation tomorrow. Hope that works!!

I really hate dwelling on my ailments, real and imagined. I hate scaring myself. Anxiety is having a wonderful time with me this week and I can not kick Anxiety to the curb for some reason.

Hoping tomorrow will be better!!

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