How does one lose control?

The Serenity Prayer. Almost everyone knows it. If not, ask Mr. Google. You will find it in a second. Control the things you can….

If I would have met you ten or fifteen years ago and you told me I would lose control of my household, I would have laughed my head off. No way! I am in Charge. In fact, I was a control freak, type A personality and all of that…

But guess what? I have lost control of my household.

My rules:  No profanity. No drinking in my home. No disrespect. Chores are done by all. No questions asked. I am sure that there were plenty of eye rolls behind my back (and I caught quite a few)–Rated G household- but I ruled with an Iron Fist. (not literally)

Don’t skip school – yes the college aged one does.

Don’t skip work – the college graduate does.

Profanity – They all use it. I hate it.

No drinking – those of age do it in my home.

The Dark One sanctions all these things.

If the mother and father are on opposite teams and the Dad is sanctioning disrespect, profanity as well as drinking and skipping work and school, of course MAWM is the crazy one because Dad the Dark One allows them to do it so they Adore Him, plus you know he works so hard…..

Never mind that I gave up my young life and worked myself like a dog and still have to get a night job as well…..believe me, they won’t miss me. They will be glad I am not home.

How to get control back?

Take their phones – can’t. On a contract.

Make them pay their own bills – Can’t. They don’t make enough money.

Take their cars – Can’t. They’d just get rides from friends who are less trustworthy than they are.

Take away the television – Can’t. On a contract.

Pour out their alcohol. – Can’t. They will just buy more and then hide it and then I will go even more Insane than I am.

Talk to them – Tried. Doesn’t work.

Throw them out – Would love to. All of them, including the Dark One. They Wont’ Leave.

So now what?

I can only control myself. I can only try and get well and then better myself from getting away from Them.

Am I giving up?

Yeah, I think I am…..although I pray constantly and don’t want to.

But yeah, I think I am giving up on controlling my household because I am unable to and no longer can tolerate their shenanigans.

If you told me I would feel this way ten or fifteen years ago I would tell you that you were nuts.

So there you have it, I am throwing in the towel…

 

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