Anxiety and me and something New…

About two weeks ago, I ate a turkey sandwich. I have pretty much been eating the same thing every day since I had diverticulitis a few months ago. I have gone to the regular doc and the colon surgeon and they both said I was fine.

After a few hours of eating the sandwich, I got really sick. It was the last piece in the package and it could have been bad although the date was fine. At any rate, that spurred on anxiety and I couldn’t hold anything down.

Another trip to the doctor and my heart racing and my body aching, I had more blood work done and of course the doc was on vacation for a week and did not get the results of the blood work. When they finally came in, everything was normal but I continued to feel nausea whether I was eating or not.  It has been so bad that I have cancelled work and various other appointments and would have checked myself in the hospital if I weren’t so sick feeling.

By the second week of misery I decided that I probably scared myself to death by throwing up. I had some anti nausea medicine left over from various infections over the summer and started a pill each day (phenegren) and I was fine. A visit to the doc yesterday confirmed that my blood work was fine, former cat scan of abdomen in July was fine, and therefore the nausea is anxiety. I had noticed that when I wake up in the morning there are bats in my belly flapping their wings but If I am busy or working, I don’t think about it, and feel fine.

I couldn’t get online so looked up nausea and anxiety and there seems to be a correlation. However the doc said that I needed to back off the phenegren but didn’t elaborate as to why. I read the side effects and then called the pharmacist. Sometimes they seem to know more than the docs. The pharmacist suggested Zofar which doesn’t have the side effects so am going to call the doc for that on Monday.

Who knew that Anxiety would throw this curve ball? When one feels like they are going to throw up it’s really hard to get through the day.  That’s how the entire past two weeks have been.

I have also come to the conclusion that I have Chronic Anxiety or am in a State of Anxiety. Here is an embarrassing story as to how bad it has become…..

I was working at the winery this past week and I felt a pain on both sides of my belly and I thought there was no way that I could have diverticulitis again. I finished my shift, went to the bathroom and felt the area and it really hurt. I could not for the life of me figure out what in the world I did to myself. I lifted up some flab from an old c section (sorry gross) and discovered a Huge Bloody Area and I completely freaked out. I ran out of the bathroom, heart racing, hands shaking, punched out and drove like a maniac home. My mind was racing that my intestines must be falling out or something…..thank goodness the hubs was sober and at home. I showed him the area and he could see I was in a state of Panic. He first told me I was Okay. Then he asked me if I was running all day and sweating. I was. I was Super Chaffed and my skin was Broken open all across the underside of my belly. I directed him to where the corn starch was and he fixed me up.

The point is, a normal person would have assumed that they were chaffed and gone home and done something about it. I have gotten myself into Panic Mode, thinking I am splitting open, not wanting to eat, and feeling sick every time I eat.

Bad.

This is what it is like living with anxiety. You think you are crazy and sometimes act like you are crazy..your kids think you are a flake and the doctors just want to put you on an anti depressant when you are not depressed.

It’s exhausting….

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4 thoughts on “Anxiety and me and something New…

  1. I completely understand what you are going through. I have these bouts of anxiety and tend to fall ill during those times. It is very difficult to ‘snap’ out of it as many ‘wellwishers’ put it. Writing helps me stay afloat. Keep the faith. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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