I can’t tell you how many times when all six kids were under 18 and I wished they would just grow up and be able to take care of themselves.
Now I am really eating my words. It’s so hard when you used to have an S on your chest and wear a cape and be Mom and be able to run a business and take of one’s parents without breaking a sweat.
Now the kids are mostly gone except for three and two of them are gone much of the time. That leaves the 15 year old and me and the dogs. It might not be so bad if we were back in our comfort zone, just a little town instead of in the country with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Not that I would go anywhere anyway but still….
Not needed, no phone calls, no texts, no visits…..they do text when they have time and they do call when they have time but they all have their own lives.
Tonight is one of those nights. The 15 year old is on his computer and I can only write for a short time because it’s all messed up and he is playing games with his old friends and me being on my computer causes his to ‘lag’. I could be writing my book but I just don’t feel like dealing with it. Everyone is gone. Working or out having fun. Even the dogs are sleeping, but they are old too….
It’s lonely. It gives one too much time with their own thoughts which sometimes isn’t so good, especially when one suffers from anxiety. I try and stay busy, but there is only so much cleaning one can do in a fixer upper. I have done all the laundry and I work tomorrow so set out my clothes….the tv is on for background noise but I am not really interested in it. I have signed up for more shifts at the winery even though it’s hard work and will post later about that…..
It’s so dark out! I am used to street lights and the sounds of cars doing by, kids in the neighborhood, sirens, that kind of thing….I don’t like the quiet. I know many do but for me I just don’t like it.
I guess I am in a funk and know I will pull out of it but sure do hope it is soon!
I don’t like having an empty nest at all…..
For those of you that have those little ones….hold tight!