Anxiety and Me…..Paxil Beware!!

This is really what I wanted to write about today. 16 years ago I was prescribed Paxil while going through a really hard time. I resisted taking medication for many years, but knew way back in 2001 that I had to do something. My internist prescribed it for me and as each new Meteor of Life hit me, of course he upped my dosage and added benzos for panic attacks. I had weaned down to only 10 mg after being on a very high dose. A few weeks ago, I knew I had to see a Shrink because all of my “symptoms” could not be found with something medically wrong with me. I asked my hubs to score them into 5 mg. By day four he took my keys because I was ready For Real to drive into a tree. Crying all day For Real, even in my sleep, feeling desolate, alone, gray, grim, I have no words…..he begged me to go back to 10 mg. which I did until my Shrink appointment.. By the way, using the word “shrink” is not to be construed as bad. It’s just I don’t want to spell out psychiatrist!! Anyway, Anxiety had it’s talons in me and as hard as I tried to shake it off, it would not Go Away and I felt as if I was going to throw up every day which is gross but true and several times I did. It was Horrible.

I am writing this because I want all to know that reads my blog that anti depressants can be a good life saving form of medicine in the Short Term. Long term? Not so much. I was experiencing “Paxil Poop Out” (a real term) as well as withdrawals. Sometimes you just have to get help. I certainly didn’t really want to drive into a tree. It was the MEDICATION. Dangerous stuff. Ideally, we should all have coping mechanisms in our crazy lives, but take it from someone who has suffered anxiety for over 20 years, sometimes you just can’t do it alone; thus my seeking help from a shrink and not a primary care doctor. A shrink specializes in mental health and can provide the right medicine although sometimes it takes a while to “get it right”….

If you know of someone who is suffering from anxiety, be patient with them. They will probably want to talk about their ailments. That’s ok, jut listen to them. “Go for a walk”, “Enjoy Nature”, “Put on some music”….No this is NOT what we want to hear. When you can’t go to the grocery store, forget going for a walk. We are too scared and sick feeling. It can be nauseousness, palpitations, a churning in our tummies, not being able to get off the potty, who knows what kind of physical symptoms Anxiety throws at us…..sometimes we don’t even know we are anxious. Just be there. That’s what you can do. If it gets irritating, take a break, but come back. No one wants to suffer alone and feel like they’re crazy. Anxiety sufferers are told we are nuts enough, we believe it. If your friend or relative can’t get help on their own, help them or better yet, go with them. A Shrink is your best defense and medication may be necessary. We may be wired differently or maybe have had too many traumas and we break. It’s really that simple. We are broken. We never fully heal, but can be put back together with glue. Mostly we just want the suffering to stop! If one is put on an anti-depressant, please read the Side Effects and Withdrawals. If you can, avoid those with terrible withdrawals and make sure you have an Exit Strategy for using them short term. Go Away Anxiety!!

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