Do you know someone like this?

I know this man who would give anyone the shirt off his back — literally.  He is a terrific friend, would do anything anyone asks of him. He works very hard at his job and is a good provider. Long ago, when he was young he was a gentleman. Never said a bad word, always held doors, made women feel special. Now he is older. He is still a gentleman to some. He holds doors, helps the elderly ladies…those kinds of things.

But in his own home. Look out!!  He is not nice and uses foul language, is almost always in a bad mood and treats his wife and sometimes his kids like trash. Worse than trash. He literally treats his dog better. The wife is trapped and can’t leave because she is uneducated and has no money nor skills so has to put up with him. His kids are all grown and they ignore him unless they need something from him. No one ever comes to visit him and rarely does he get a phone call from his older kids. They can’t stand to be around him. They only stop by on holidays as a sense of obligation.

How does one deal with one like this? There’s no talking and anything that is done in love and caring is trampled on. He complains all the time. I pray for him and hope that one day he will turn back to the Lord….

otherwise

He will end up alone.

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17 thoughts on “Do you know someone like this?

  1. Perhaps his house, is where his stress stems from, think of a vacation, you go on a vacation to get away, relax, have fun, which happens when removed from a stressful environment, as you say he’s super nice when he’s outside of his house, that’s his vacation, and he’s not so nice at home, which is the only reason I can come up with, because I’ve been the same exact way, I was miserable at home and expressed it thoroughly, and a completely different person outside of the house, I would delve deeper into his situation, emotions, feelings, and mind, if he’s a nice person away from home, and not nice at home, then Home.. is where the problem is

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  2. You sly devil! Lol I don’t want to get personal, for obvious reasons, but no offense to you, I find it hard to believe everyone, and everything has been extraordinarily perfect.. he is just a butthead.. an action brings a reaction to everything good and bad, so if it’s a bad action, you get a bad reaction

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  3. Don’t ignore it, nothing is addressed by ignoring anything ever, when he’s being angry, lashing out, he’s expressing his emotions whether good or bad, you have to be considerate of why is he acting like that.. so I would recommend sitting and talking about every single thing he doesn’t like, what annoys him, what his fears are, and find out how everyone can ease the stress, or fears, or how to avoid them altogether, be observing, when does he act like this, time, day, place, environment, moment, everything, and maybe you can see what is causing it

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  4. Then he is insecure about something, not dealing with it.. will give you the expected results, none good, talk about those things when he’s in a happy, uplifting mood, you may even have to show how selfish it is for him to not divulge everything, which pushes everyone away, and creates stress for everyone else, simply because he doesn’t want to talk.. the only change for the better relies on everyone else helping him opening up, he’s most likely never going to change own his own

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  5. You may even have to recruit a guy friend of his to help try and see if he’ll open up to him, men, as one, usually feel more comfortable talking to a guy friend, because men understand each other, so there’s usually no confusion, or misunderstanding, I know your married and you assume he should be completely transparent, but men don’t work that way, we show you what we want to show you, so that may be a good step, needs to be someone really close to him, that will then explain to you what he’s dealing with

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  6. That’s a terrific idea except his bromance best friend is totally loyal to him and would NEVER divulge any secrets. I think I am stuck. Just going to try and live my own life until maybe he figures it all out. May be too late once he does….sad.

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  7. No, I keep quiet. I used to have a temper when I was younger and we had the best arguments and the best time making up but I am exhausted with it all. I just go in another room or put in my headphones or read a book. I am also currently looking for a second night job so I won’t be around much……sad.

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  8. Well, as a master of psychology.. lol if your kids, as small children did whatever they wanted, when they wanted, with no consequence.. there’s nothing stopping them from continuing, but training their mind to understand that if you do this.. there’s a reward, and if you do this .. there’s a consequence, most would avoid the thing that ends in a consequence, so I don’t care who it is, if anyone attacks you physically or verbally, you turn it back on them tenfold, and they will at least think otherwise before doing it again, otherwise it gives that person more strength, control, and a snotty attitude, since.. they can do whatever they want and get away with it, some disagree with my opinion, but I’ve been on the receiving end of physical and mental abuse, because I wouldn’t say anything, or do anything, which gave them in their mind all right to continue, but the moment I got in their face.. it all stopped, and no one has approached me like that since, so.. you can listen to someone who has studied that their whole life, or someone who lived it.. lol

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  9. Ah hah! I thought you sounded like you might be a psychologist!! (or at least a student)
    I will try it out and see how it goes…..and will blog about it of course (as a story)!! Thanks for all the good advice. For Real. I appreciate it so much!! I too have been a victim of mental and physical abuse and really can’t for the life of me figure out why I am allowing this!!

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  10. It’s not about having a temper, and it’s not about anger, it’s about defending yourself.. think about it from a christian pov, again there are many liberal Christians that are pacifists, God is not a pacifist, if you believe so.. just pick a book in the old testament and be corrected lol God doesn’t want silent Christians who run and hide, he wants warriors who stand against the opposition, doing so in selfish anger would be wrong, doing so in defending yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is a great thing, you were given that ability for a reason, use it lol

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