Anxiety and Me….

Today started off with me getting ready for my “shrink” appointment. She is a real doctor, but an intern with an attendee doc over her. I have been to maybe two psychiatrists before.  Once, many moons ago because of a custody battle, (I AM A FIT MOM) and once for a referral to a psychologist whom I spent wonderful years with for therapy. He is far away now and I don’t think he takes my insurance or I would go running back to him.  I am not used to psychiatrists.  I had a 15 minute appointment with her. Goodness I could have taken care of it over the phone. It was a forty-five minute drive to see her.  It was ridiculous but maybe that’s how these things work…..I don’t know and she really didn’t have the time to tell me because she sauntered out as soon as I left with a “colleague” to have lunch. I know this only because I ran into her going to lunch. Sheesh!  She said the new medicine I am on is working because it “hits” a neurotransmitter in my brain that tells me NOT to puke. It also helps with anxiety but I wanted a more detailed explanation. She did not have the time. She is pushing “therapy”. I looked at her with pity. As old as I am, I have been in and out of therapy for over 30 years. I was broken since a child.  At my “intake meeting” with her a few weeks ago, I wrote her my readers’ digest version of all the abuse in my life. She knows it. Or maybe she forgot. What I don’t need is to rehash the past with a well meaning social worker or therapist. That would cause MORE ANXIETY… However, I am thinking about it.  If she thinks I can live Anxiety Free she is the one who needs a physchiatrist.  Not going to happen after all I have been through unless the Lord heals me which by the way I have prayed for.  Anxiety is REAL and can not be taken lightly. She did NOTHING as far as the medication I take except that she wants me off the benzos (which help of course) … She obviously did not care. I could see it in her face. She is young, but not that young and has a smug way about her. I don’t like her. However, will continue to be nice because I only see her until July and then she goes on another, “rotation”. I don’t care if she is a gigantic ANT as long as I am not having Anxiety and Nausea and all the other delightful symptoms of Anxiety kick my butt. However, I was very

disappointed….

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2 thoughts on “Anxiety and Me….

  1. My prayers are with you my friend. I have suffered with anxiety and panic for 26 years. It’s terrible and many don’t understand it because it’s “in our head”!! (including the doctors!!)

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