The Dark One……..

Many moons ago I was married very young and was in a mental and physically abusive relationship. Married, divorced and was a mom before 21. I told myself I would Never be in a relationship like that again. However, after getting remarried, and five more kids, I find myself in another abusive relationship. Not physical. I would never stand for that Again. It’s mental.

Do you know a Dark one? Let me tell you, it’s not fun. Most of the time he is supportive and when I was sick he was really supportive Most of the Time. However, now that I am better, he has slid into his old slithering snake way….biting and nasty comments, snide remarks, filthy language…..it’s tiresome.

What to do? Do I pilfer money and leave? I didn’t want to do that because I still have a 16 year old son. I also don’t have a way to support myself. Do I take it? Being quiet makes no difference. Bullying a bully makes no difference. I’m stumped but making plans. Last week He said he was going to leave for good and I felt a freeing in my spirit..I know that sounds bad but I dread coming home because I never know the kind of mood he will be in. Constantly complaining, drinking, but not to excess, refusing to do anything around this house which is Awful because there is so much to be done and he’s a contractor for goodness sakes!  Therapy is out of the question, as is marriage counseling. I am working on an exit strategy but don’t think it’s fair that I have to leave when we finally paid off the house….This is the Reader’s Digest version of course I just don’t want to write out every bad thing. Trying to keep My Sanity!!

Praying hard for a lasting restoration of the man I used to know…..