The Fixer Upper and Me…..

One thing that happened this past week that was quite discouraging is that we don’t qualify for a home owner’s policy because we do not have working central heat.  We can get a Dwelling Policy which still gives us coverage for catastrophic events such as  fire, but it isn’t as good as a traditional homeowner’s policy. I was looking into this – this past week because we are making the last payment on the Fixer Upper. That’s an Awesome thing. However, we are still struggling. Those TV shows are for people that have money and buy Fixer Uppers!!  The only way to get a true homeowner’s policy is to have central heat and “curb appeal” which means at least painting the front of the house and clearing out over brush which we have kept to hide the front quite frankly. The hubs is not inclined to do much right now. He is in a bad mood.

The Ants have arrived as well. We have a big old Maple tree quite close to the house and the Ants are everywhere. They decided to invade the kitchen. I had the hubs get some spray. He sprayed all around then put borax around the house and they have dissipated a little which is good but they freak me out because there are so many of them! I have turned into a “plastic person”….by that I mean putting things in plastic containers, even small appliances because the ants are driving me up the wall!

The air conditioners are in the attic and the hubs has not gotten them out yet and it’s HOT in here. Really hot. We have ceiling fans which help a little but not that much. We have only one big fan; the others are in the attic and he has to get them down. Bad mood, no fans, no air conditioners…

Hope his dark days pass soon–


The Winery and me…

I was hoping the winery would get better, but so far, it hasn’t. In an earlier post about a week ago I had written that I find myself irritated more with co-workers or bored out of my mind. I have noticed that many people like to stand around doing nothing and getting paid for it. Not me. Boredom drives me up the wall. If we aren’t busy I’m not happy. I don’t like the sore back and swollen and tired feet, but I like it when we are slammed busy than being bored.

I don’t know if it’s the new meds I am on or if I am just seeing people differently but I have noticed that some of my co-workers are getting on my last nerve. For example, one is The One Who Knows it All about Wine. He makes inappropriate comments and literally puts his nose in the air and tells people like me to clean the men’s bathroom if I am bored. Nope. Not doing that. Not that I am too good for doing that task but because I am a bit germophobic and we have a guy who cleans. I even wear gloves when taking out trash. This man will also stand around while old ladies like me are carrying case after case of wine. This ticks me off. I should not have a job that is hurting my body. I just don’t do it anymore. If I see a man standing around I gently suggest that he help stock which means Carry the Cases and Boxes of Wine Lazy Bones!! I also do not acknowledge The One Who Knows All about Wine. I will say hello if he does but that’s it. I won’t talk to him about Anything nor engage in any kind of conversation. If he makes a remark about Anything I ignore him.  Another example of my irritation is a young lady that Thinks She Knows All about Wine. Having knowledge is a good thing. Correcting one in front of customers or showing off knowledge and interrupting a tasting is Rude. She is rude. She also yammers on and on to the customers. She is getting on my last nerve. Prior to my long list of illnesses I would take whatever anyone dished out. Not anymore. I just “get her back” by telling her that the toilet paper needs changing in the bathrooms or tell her (Yes tell her) to stock or sweep the floors. I am turning into someone I don’t like at work. Earlier this week I was pushed off the bar by two Know it All people. I just went on about my other tasks such as cleaning, told my boss I had completed everything and let her know how I was treated by co workers and told her I obviously wasn’t needed so clocked out and went home. I am also not pushing myself as hard. Not for $9.00 an hour to be treated poorly. Forget that. Thus, me wanting another job. But for now I am trying to make the best of it…..

Weekly Wrap Up

First I would like to say Kudos to all of you bloggers who are faithful to blog each day! I used to be one of them, but as of late, Life has gotten in the way. I still read favorite blogs each day, but then I glance at the clock and I am off and running! No time to write! That is Bad. I must Make Time. In my last post, I decided I would charge up the old laptop and continue on my darn book. I am basically done, just need some editing and then the Oh How to Get it Published begins. I am probably not ready for that stress. Maybe that’s why I haven’t had the energy to finish it yet!

I am taking it easy on myself. Trying to keep my Anxiety at bay.  For example, if something causes me stress and I Have to do it, I do it quickly. If something causes stress that I don’t have time to deal with — I simply don’t deal with it or shelve it for another time.

This past week has been busy but uneventful. By that I mean, working, and taking care of household tasks, nothing earth shattering happening, for which I am very thankful! I have been going on interviews quite a bit. As of yet, no full time job for me. I have decided that if I am not hired by three places I interviewed with, then it’s not the right time. I still have one kid left to finish homeschooling, and it’s not going well. Perhaps that’s why I only have the part time job. Ah well, soon it will be over! Once he takes his G.E.D. and is registered for classes at the community college then my home school days are over. Can’t wait!

One exciting thing did happen this week that wasn’t Bad News. I was able to finance an above ground pool. I did not want to go into debt, but the joy of having a pool again outweighed the burden of more debt. It’s on it’s way! I can’t wait! Whether enjoying in the morning, day, or evening, I am definitely looking forward to it. It’s a great way to exercise as well. I love walking around in circles, sometimes praying, relaxing with a “pool noodle”, gathering my thoughts. Plus it’s so darn hot right now, a pool will bring such relief!

That’s it for now, be well!!

Three Day Wrap Up

I am doing a three day wrap up today. On Easter Sunday, I went to #1’s house and we had a great day. No one accompanied me, they were either working or didn’t want to go. #1 sent home leftovers for those that had to work, no one else. I like that.

I took my granddaughter driving, as she just got her learner’s permit and mommy and daddy are too upset and anxious. She did great. We started out slow in a parking lot and next thing you know, she was on the highway! Afterwards, I treated myself to a coffee at Star Bucks and a quick store run, and then homeward bound. It was a nice time.

Monday I worked at the winery but had gotten up at 4:30 a.m. because the dogs were carrying on and then could not get back to sleep so went on to work at 9:00 a.m.  It was very slow and I was very slow due to lack of sleep. They let me go early because we weren’t that busy and I had a nice nap yesterday afternoon.

Today I started the day bright and early with a dentist appointment at 8:00 a.m.  I had my partial adjusted and the dentist worked on my upper plate too. It’s better. I am still having trouble adjusting….

Today is dedicated to phone calls and house work and most of it has been completed. I am planning to have lunch with #4 and then maybe do some schoolwork with #6 that we have to do together. It’s been pretty quiet, which is nice.

No Great Dramas to report so I am happy about that. I already have a casserole made for dinner so that is a plus. A store run after #4 goes back to work and I am done for the day!

I am trying to do things to keep busy on my days off. It gets so lonely sometimes. The dogs are getting old so they just lay around. Watching them, it makes me want to do the same!!

Anxiety and me….

Easter Day!!  Resurrection Day!!  One of my favorite holidays!!  I awoke early, trying to keep to my regular routine. I watched the sun show her beautiful face and the butterflies flit around the lilac bushes outside.  The little robin and the blue jays and the beautiful male robin who is Bright Red visited me this morning, twittering and singing. It was a nice morning. I am looking forward to being off work, even though I was scheduled to work. I am looking forward to spending some time with my son and his family.

Bang! Anxiety did not like the fact that I was looking forward to a day for a change. Anxiety likes to keep me tethered to the house, crying or feeling down. My mood was so great that Anxiety couldn’t get me that way so decided to attack my body. Terrible pain out of no where in my tummy this morning.

I sat down gingerly and examined the pain I was feeling. It was not normal. It was instead, in the lady area and I KNEW something was wrong. I sat perfectly still and analyzed the way the way my body was feeling. I had no idea what precipitated this. I did not panic, although I had to stomp on panic.

It was gas pains!!

Calm down Anxiety not today!!

Charging the Laptap

Last night when I came in from work I looked like something the dog spit out.  When the hubs came in, he looked like something the cat spit out. Both of us were aching from our jobs. He of course is worse off than I am. However, neither of us need to be doing manual labor at our ages. It’s obvious that we had six kids and poor financial planning. But since that water has long been under the bridge, we have to look forward. My hubs made a remark last night that I really should finish my book so I can make a million….that got a bark of laughter out of me. I will be lucky to finish the book and have the money to pay for printing, let alone be able to get actually published at some big publishing house. If I self publish on Amazon, at least I can say I did something….Guess what? Yep! I’m charging up the laptop!  Will plan to start writing this week!

Go me!


I ask, “Where are you going this Easter Day?”

He says, “To ride in the sun, it’s a beautiful day!”

He has on his gear, jacket and boots,

He now has Wings

But I gave him roots-

His bike starts up,

Va room, Va room,

my heart starts to beat

bah bah boom, bah bah boom-

Hi bike looks different,

something is new-

He never tells me what he’s going to do-

I puzzle over it and look at his bag,

I see that he ordered a brand new tag.

watch over your heart

watch over your heart

I say silently as he starts to depart

Down the drive he begins to ride

I feel a sinking sensation inside

watch over your heart

I say silently

He lifts his visor

and winks at me

My mood dims as I see what it says

It’s the tag!  It’s the tag!

The tag



*a mom’s poem to her son with heart disease