Anxiety and me…..

I am so sick of Anxiety. I am so tired of being anxious to the point where it affects my body, my health, in an adverse way…..

I go to work and do my job and Anxiety gets kicked in the tummy. Once I am done with an estimate, Anxiety is still riding shot gun….

Blood pressure is still high side of normal and the doc wants me to double another pill and not the other one unless pressure is high at night…..Why can’t I just take one pill? I hate starting new “pills”….I hate taking Valium to “calm down”….I know sometimes it is needed, but does one really feel anxious Every Day about Who Knows What? I do, but I don’t know Why.  Sometimes there are reasons for it, but it shouldn’t make my blood pressure sky rocket unless something Really Big is going on…at least that’s the way I look at it….  Then I worry that if I double up on one pill, (I have already doubled on one), what happens if it goes too low? It’s high enough where it probably won’t, but still…..Living near a hospital less than ten minutes away used to give me a false sense of security, but now in the country it becomes a Huge Concern….and I don’t think it should…..

I like to start new medicines when someone else is home so that if I feel weird, I am not alone. One time I had a nurse practitioner add a blood pressure pill and I felt dizzy and like I was going to fall over…Not Fun. Don’t want to go through that again….

Once one is anxious, it becomes like a dog chasing it’s tail…a vicious cycle…and I really Hate It…..Not only is one anxious, one becomes Anxious about being Anxious….so dumb…but that’s my life right now….